tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86194591982944874392024-02-21T07:19:07.791-08:00Just JockingArvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.comBlogger226125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-70124896546008573332017-10-30T21:40:00.003-07:002017-10-30T21:49:56.890-07:00Valuable Thoughts of Sardar Patel<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: middle !important;"><span style="color: #674ea7;">सरदार वल्लभभाई पटेल के अनमोल प्रेरक विचार</span></span></h2>
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<li>मेरी एक इच्छा है की भारत एक अच्छा उत्पादक बने और यहाँ कोई अन्न के लिए रोये नहीं. </li>
<li>आपकी अच्छाई आपके मार्ग में बाधक है, इसलिए अपनी आंखें को क्रोध से लाल होने दीजिये, और अन्याय का मजबूत हाथों से सामना कीजिये </li>
<li>यह हर एक नागरिक की जिम्मेदारी है कि वह यह अनुभव करे की उसका देश स्वतंत्र है और उसकी स्वतंत्रता की रक्षा करना उसका कर्तव्य है. हर एक भारतीय को अब यह भूल जाना चाहिए कि वह एक राजपूत है, एक सिख या जाट है. उसे यह याद होना चाहिए कि वह एक भारतीय है और उसे इस देश में हर अधिकार है पर कुछ जिम्मेदारियां भी हैं. </li>
<li>कठिन समय में कायर बहाना ढूढ़ते है तो वही बहादुर व्यक्ति रास्ता खोजते है. </li>
<li>स्वतंत्र भारत में कोई भी भूख से नहीं मरेगा. इसके अनाज निर्यात नहीं किये जायेंगे. कपड़ों का आयात नहीं किया जाएगा. इसके नेता ना विदेशी भाषा का प्रयोग करेंगे ना किसी दूरस्थ स्थान, समुद्र स्तर से 7000 फुट ऊपर से शाशन करेंगे. इसके सैन्य खर्च भारी नहीं होंगे .इसकी सेना अपने ही लोगों या किसी और की भूमी को अधीन नहीं करेगी. इसके सबसे अच्छे वेतन पाने वाले अधिकारी इसके सबसे कम वेतन पाने वाले सेवकों से बहुत ज्यादा नहीं कमाएंगे. और यहाँ न्याय पाना ना खर्चीला होगा ना कठिन होगा. </li>
<li>यह सत्य है की पानी में तैरने वाले ही डूबते है किनारे खड़े रहने वाले नहीं किन्तु ऐसे लोग तैरना भी नहीं सीख पाते. </li>
<li>एकता के बिना जनशक्ति शक्ति नहीं है जबतक उसे ठीक तरह से सामंजस्य में ना लाया जाए और एकजुट ना किया जाए, और तब यह आध्यात्मिक शक्ति बन जाती है. </li>
<li>जो कल का काम करना है उसके बारे में सोच कर अपना आज का काम मत बिगाड़ो.आप आज का काम अच्छा कीजिये,कल का काम अपने आप ठीक हो जायेगा. </li>
<li>यहाँ तक कि यदि हम हज़ारों की दौलत भी गवां दें,और हमारा जीवन बलिदान हो जाए , हमें मुस्कुराते रहना चाहिए और ईश्वर एवं सत्य में विश्वास रखकर प्रसन्न रहना चाहिए. </li>
<li>यह सच है कि पानी में तैरने वाले ही डूबते हैं किनारे पर खडे रहने वाले नहीं मगर ऐसे लोग कभी तैरना भी नहीं सीख पाते हैं </li>
<li>बेशक कर्म पूजा है किन्तु हास्य जीवन है.जो कोई भी अपना जीवन बहुत गंभीरता से लेता है उसे एक तुच्छ जीवन के लिए तैयार रहना चाहिए. जो कोई भी सुख और दुःख का समान रूप से स्वागत करता है वास्तव में वही सबसे अच्छी तरह से जीता है. </li>
<li>शक्ति के अभाव में विश्वास किसी भी काम का नहीं है.किसी बड़े काम करने के लिए शक्ति और विश्वास बहुत जरुरी है. </li>
<li>अक्सर मैं ऐसे बच्चे जो मुझे अपना साथ दे सकते हैं, के साथ हंसी-मजाक करता हूँ. जब तक एक इंसान अपने अन्दर के बच्चे को बचाए रख सकता है तभी तक जीवन उस अंधकारमयी छाया से दूर रह सकता है जो इंसान के माथे पर चिंता की रेखाएं छोड़ जाती है. </li>
<li>पिछले बातो को याद करके रोना कायरो का काम है.उनसे सबक लेकर मुकाबले की तैयारी करना बहादुरों का काम है.</li>
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सरदार बल्लभ भाई पटेल का जीवन परिचय - Biography of Sardar Vallabhbhai Patelसरदार बल्लभ भाई पटेल का जन्म 31 अक्टूबर, 1875 ई. में नाडियाड, गुजरात (Gujarat) में हुआ था </h1>
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इनके पिता का नाम झवेरभाई पटेल एवं माता का नाम लाड़बाई था <br />
पटेल जी ने सन 1897 में 22 साल की उम्र में उन्होंने मैट्रिक की परीक्षा पास की और उसके बाद लन्दन जाकर बैरिस्टर की पढाई की और वापस आकर अहमदाबाद में वकालत का कार्य किया था <br />
सरदार पटेल जी का विवाह सन 1893 में 16 वर्ष की अवस्था में झावेरबा के साथ हुुआ था <br />
सरदार पटेल जी की की पत्नी की मृत्यु 1908 में हो गई थी <br />
सरदार पटेल जी के बारदोली सत्याग्रह का नेतृत्व करनेे पर और सत्याग्रह की सफलता पर वहाँ की महिलाओं ने सरदार की उपाधि प्रदान की <br />
सरदार पटेल जी को गांधीजी के नमक सत्याग्रह के पक्ष में प्रचार करने के कारण 7 मार्च, 1930 को गिरफ्तार कर साबरमती जेल में डाल दिया जहॉ इन्होनें भूख हडताल कर दी थी <br />
भारत के एकीकरण में उनके महान योगदान के लिये उन्हे भारत का "लौह पुरूष" के रूप में जाना जाता है <br />
पटेल जी 2 सितम्बर, 1946 को अंतरिम सरकार में गृह, सूचना एवं प्रसारण मंत्री बनाया गया था <br />
गृहमंत्री के रूप में सरदार पटेल पहले व्यक्ति थे जिन्होंने भारतीय नागरिक सेवाओं आईसीएस का भारतीयकरण कर इन्हें भारतीय प्रशासनिक सेवाएं आईएएस बनाया <br />
सरदार पटेल जी का निधन 15 दिसम्बर, 1950 को हो गया था <br />
सरदार बल्लभ भाई पटेल को मरणोपरान्त वर्ष 1991 में भारत के सर्वोच्च सम्मान भारत रत्न से सम्मानित किया गया था यह अवार्ड उनके पौत्र विपिनभाई पटेल द्वारा स्वीकार किया गया <br />
सरदार पटेल जी के सम्मान में अहमदाबाद के हवाई अड्डे का नामकरण सरदार वल्लभभाई पटेल अन्तराष्ट्रीय हवाई अड्डा रखा गया है <br />
सरदार वल्लभ भाई पटेल की 137वीं जयंती के अवसर पर 31 अक्टूबर, 2013 को गुजरात के पूर्व मुख्यमंत्री नरेन्द्र मोदी ने गुजरात के नर्मदा ज़िले में सरदार पटेल के स्मारक का शिलान्यास किया।इसका नाम 'एकता की मूर्ति' (स्टैच्यू ऑफ़ यूनिटी) रखा गया है <br />
सरदार पटेल की यादों को ताजा रखने के लिए अहमदाबाद के शाहीबाग में सरदार बल्लभ भाई पटेल मेमोरिल सोसाइटी में सरदार पटेल का थ्री डी संग्राहालय तैयार किया गया है<br />
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<i>Name Sardar Vallabhbhai Jhaverbhai Patel / सरदार वल्लभभाई झावेरभाई पटेल <br />Born 31 October 1875Nadiad, Bombay Presidency, British India (now India) <br />Died 15 December 1950 (aged 75)Mumbai, India <br />Nationality Indian <br />Profession Lawyer, Politician <br />Achievement Regarded as the “Bismarck of India” and “Iron Man of India”, लौह पुरुष .Known for Integrating India as a United , independent nation. </i></div>
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Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0Sikar, Rajasthan, India27.6094 75.13991099999998427.496836000000002 74.978549499999986 27.721964 75.301272499999982tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-76565376369119555742013-12-16T02:05:00.000-08:002013-12-16T02:05:43.791-08:00New Year SMS<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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In The Same Manner You<br />Make People Around You Feel Special,<br />May The New Year Turn Out<br />To Be Extremely Special For You Through Out.<br />Happy New Year Dear</blockquote>
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Naya Savera Nayi Kiran Ke Sath<br />Naya Din Ek Pyari Si Muskaan Ke Sath<br />Aapko Naya Saal Mubarak Ho Dher Sari Duaon Ke Sath<br />Happy New Year 2014</blockquote>
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A New Year Brings With It New Opportunities.<br />It Is The Time To Make New Beginnings<br />As You Open A New Chapter Of Your Life.<br />Happy New Year</blockquote>
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Hazaron Duaon<br />Beshumar Wafaon<br />An-Ginat Mohabaton<br />Be-Panah Chahaton<br />Or<br />Khushion K La-Zawal Khazane K Sath Aapko<br />Naya Saal Mubarak Ho</blockquote>
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As Another Year Closes<br />A New One Is Just Beginning.<br />I Enjoyed Our First Year Together<br />And I Can’t Wait To Start Another With You.<br />Happy New Year Darling!</blockquote>
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Tazi hawa me phoolo ki mahek ho,<br />pahli kiran me chidyon ki chahek ho,<br />jab v kholo aap apni palke un palko me<br />bas khushiyon ki jhalak ho.<br />Happy new year 2014</blockquote>
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Another Day, Another Month, Another Year.<br />Another Smile, Another Tear, Another Winter,<br />A Summer Too, But<br />There Will Never Be Another You!<br />May Lovely, Happy Times<br />Decorate This Time Of The Season.<br />May Warm, Special Memories Brighten Your New Year.</blockquote>
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Kabhi hasati hai to kabhi rulati hai<br />ye zindgi bhi na jaane kitne rang dekhati hai<br />haste hai to bhi ankhon mein nami aa jaati hai<br />na jaane ye kaisi yaadein hai jo dil mein bas jaati hai<br />dua karte hai is naye saal k avsar per<br />mere doston k labon per sada muskaan rahe<br />kyoki unki her muskurahat hamin khushi de jaati hai.<br />Happy New Year in Advance.!</blockquote>
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Fill your life with Happiness & Bright Cheer,<br />Bring to u Joy and Prosperity for the whole Year,<br />And it's my New Year wish 4u Dear.<br />Wishing u a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.</blockquote>
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My New Year Is Happy,<br />Because You Are In My Life,<br />You Have Been My Rock,<br />Lover And Confident.<br />I Am Very Happy That You Are My Wife.<br />If I Could Relive The Past,<br />I Would Not Have Taken So Long<br />To Make You My Wife.</blockquote>
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May this new year bring many opportunities to your way,<br />to explore every joy of life<br />&<br />may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm,<br />turning all your dreams into reality<br />and all your efforts into great achievements.<br />Happy New Year to you & your loved ones.</blockquote>
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Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-41813219776970877972013-12-13T20:48:00.001-08:002013-12-13T20:48:28.403-08:00Positive Thinking SMS<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Positive thinking is like you are standing on the middle of the road and suddenly a crow beats on your head but you remain calm and thanks to God that cows don’t fly.</blockquote>
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I cut an inch off of every straw I see, just to make the world suck a little less.</blockquote>
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A lifetime inspiring thought…."Always try your best to get whatever you like, otherwise, you will be forced to like whatever you get".</blockquote>
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When you are happy, you enjoy the music and when you are sad, you understand lyrics.</blockquote>
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Positive anything is better than negative nothing.</blockquote>
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The deep root of failure in our lives is to think, 'Oh how useless and powerless I am.' It is essential to think strongly and forcefully, 'I can do it,' without boasting or fretting.</blockquote>
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Efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness is doing the right things.</blockquote>
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"People are made to be loved and things are made to be used" The confusion in the world is that,”People are being used and things are being loved."</blockquote>
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Hunger wakes you to work, failure makes you to achieve, poverty pushes you to earn, and problems keep you alert. It’s just have attitude that makes life sweeter and worthier.</blockquote>
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There is no perfect life but we can fill it with perfect moments, so be positive. </blockquote>
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There is nothing good or bad, only thinking makes it so.</blockquote>
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Meaning of some colours, Yellow for special friend, white for peace, orange for luck, black for hate, red for love and pink for likeness, So i choose for you Orange Flower. Wish you good luck and be positive.</blockquote>
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I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.</blockquote>
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Fly in the plane of Ambition and land in the Airport of Success…Luck is yours; Wish is mine…May Ur future always shine… Good Luck and be positive.</blockquote>
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We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.</blockquote>
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Happiness as light as air. LOVE as DEEP as OCEAN. Friends as solid as diamonds and success as bright as gold. These r my wishes for you today n everyday…Good luck and be positive</blockquote>
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Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.</blockquote>
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Bad luck is like raindrops. Sometimes it sprinkles, sometimes it pours.So Have Faith in Life, and Be Always Positive.</blockquote>
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Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.</blockquote>
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Loving someone who doesn't love us is like batting when we need seven runs in one ball, we know it’s impossible, but we just have two keep trying, there may be a no-ball.</blockquote>
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Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.</blockquote>
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Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-74793015359292604762013-12-13T02:06:00.000-08:002013-12-13T02:06:24.066-08:00New Year SMS<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Aapke life mein mithaas ho<br /> “Cadbury” jaise<br /> Rounak ho “Asian Paints” jaise<br /> Mehak ho “Axe” jaise<br /> Tazgi ho “Colgate” jaise<br /> Aur tension-free rahe “Huggies” jaise! HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014</blockquote>
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"In every thing there must be a season,<br /> a time 2come and a time 2go.<br /> I pray that this New Year brings<br /> 2you happiness and joy 4ever and ever."</blockquote>
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Wish your Life always remains Bright throughout. Have a rocking New year.</blockquote>
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Lets celebrate this blissful, cheerful, colorful New year. with a smile. Wish you Happy new year.</blockquote>
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My wishes for you, great start for Jan,<br /> Love for Feb, peace for March,<br /> No worries for April, fun for May,<br /> Joy for June to Nov, happiness for Dec.<br /> Have a lucky and wonderful 2014</blockquote>
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U've<br /> !'--.___.--'! got a<br /> i________i CARD.<br /> Open it...<br /> §«§«§«§«§«§«§«§«<br /> § H A P P Y §<br /> § NEW YEAR § </blockquote>
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Naya saal aaye banke ujala<br /> Khul jaye aap ki kissmat ka tala<br /> Hamesha aap per rahe meherban upar wala<br /> Happy new year.</blockquote>
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Lets welcome the year which is fresh<br /> Lets welcome the year which is fresh and new,<br /> Lets cherish each moment it beholds,<br /> Lets celebrate this blissful new year.</blockquote>
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Life has no Pause Buttons. Dreams have no Expiry Date. Time has No Holiday. So don't waste a single moment in your Life.<br /> Live it!<br /> Love it!<br /> Rock it!<br /> A very happy New Year</blockquote>
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May The Every Moment Of Coming<br />New Year Brings Happiness And<br />Prosperity In Life, Enjoy The Every<br />Moment Of Life. Happy New Year.</blockquote>
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May this new year bring many opportunities to your way,<br /> to explore every joy of life<br />&<br />may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm,<br /> turning all your dreams into reality<br />and all your efforts into great achievements.<br /> Happy New Year to you</blockquote>
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Fun, Joy, Happiness,<br /> Peace, Love, Luck, Will Come Near,<br /> With My Special Wish<br />Happy New Year</blockquote>
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Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-4819260547239409672013-12-10T20:49:00.000-08:002013-12-10T20:49:05.578-08:00Hindi Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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लड़का बाइक चला रहा था . एक लड़की ने scooty से उसे ओवरटेक किया .लड़का चिल्लाया ," ए भैस "<br />लड़की ने पीछे मुड़कर देखा . और चिल्लाई ...गधा , कुत्ता , बन्दर , उल्लू का पट्ठा<br /> अचानक लड़की का accident हो गया रोड पार करते हुए वो एक भैस से टकरा गई ..<br /><b>मोरल -:लड़की ये कभी नहीं समझती की लड़का आखिर कहना क्या चाहता </b>हैं</blockquote>
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प्रेमी ने अपनी प्रेमिका से पूछा - डियर ! मैं तुम्हारे पिताजी से शादी की बात किस समय करूं ?<br />प्रेमिका ने कहा - जब कभी मेरे पिताजी के पैर में जूते न हों |</blockquote>
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अध्यापक -तुम बडे मुर्ख हो बालक , मै तुम्हारी उम्र मे अच्छी तरह किताब पढ लेता था |<br />छात्र - श्रीमान आपको अच्छा मास्टर मिल गया होगा?</blockquote>
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अध्यापक ने कपिल से कहा - जो काम तुमने नहीं किया , उसके लिए तुम्हें सजा नहीं दी जाएगी |<br /> कपिल - धन्यवाद सर ! आज में होमवर्क करना भूल गया हूं |</blockquote>
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अध्यापक - शाबाश दीपक , मुझे खुशी है कि तुमने इतने अच्छे अंक लिए | आगे भी ऐसे ही अच्छे अंक लेना |<br />दीपक - अच्छा सर , पर आप भी परचे भाई साहब के प्रेस में छपवाते रहिएगा |</blockquote>
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अध्यापक - बोलो बच्चों गंगा नदी पटियाला से निकलती है |<br />भावना (छात्रा ) - सर नहीं गंगा नदी पटियाला से नहीं निकलती |<br />प्रिंसिपल - महोदय आप भी कैसे अध्यापक है | गंगा नदी पटियाला से नहीं गंगोत्री से निकलती है |<br />अध्यापक - प्रिंसिपल महोदय , गंगा नदी पटियाला से ही निकलती है तथा तब तक निकलती रहेगी , जब तक मेरी सात महीने की तनखाह नहीं मिल जाती |</blockquote>
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संगीत के अध्यापक ने अपने एक छात्र से पूछा-तुम किस ताल के विषय में अधिक जानते हो ? छात्र ने तुरंत उत्तर दिया - सर ! में हडताल के विषय में अधिक जानता हुं |</blockquote>
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अध्यापक ( छात्रों से ) - अगर न्यूटन पेड़ के नीचे नहीं बैठते और उनके सिर के ऊपर सेब नहीं गिरता तो गुरुत्वाकर्षण का सिद्धांत हमें कैसे पता चलता |<br />छात्र - सर ! बिलकुल सही कहा आपने , अगर न्यूटन हमारी तरह क्लास में बैठकर इसी तरह किताब पढ़ रहे होते तो वो भी कोई आविष्कार नहीं कर पाते |</blockquote>
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अध्यापक - तुम कैसे सिद्ध करोगे कि साग-पात खाने वाले की निगाहें तेज होती है |<br />छात्र - सर , आज तक किसी ने बकरे या घोडे को चश्मा लगाते देखा है क्या ?</blockquote>
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शिक्षक ने क्लास में लडके की कॉपी जांचते हुए उससे कहा- मुझे आश्चर्य होता है कि तुम अकेले इतनी सारी गल्तियां करते हों ?<br />लडके ने खडे होकर कहा - यह सब गल्तियां मैंने अकेले नहीं की हैं , मेरे पिता जी ने भी इसमें मुझे मदद दी है |</blockquote>
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एक छात्र ने गणित के अध्यापक से कहा - सर ! अंग्रेजी के अध्यापक तो अंग्रेजी में बातें करते है | आप भी गणित में बात क्यों नहीं करतें ? गणित अध्यापक - ज्यादा तीन पांच न कर फोरन नौ -दो ग्यारह हो जा , नहीं तो चार पांच रख दूगां तो छठी का दूध याद आ जाएगा |</blockquote>
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Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-35365746064184314242013-12-09T21:24:00.000-08:002013-12-09T21:24:08.591-08:00Best Quotes of Abraham Lincoln<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN6t-yn4636nwrvZp3l1E9imAQvr9saRMXVbrVKpFT4wkDrelgUtCY5gXQ2JsG_Fj8kAFLBLiZhOhE3_GYRabzdQID_fbT2pkU0Avi5kj7dDWod8KhjMk5aPpa6yRlCW09QIx3e_qrSVAA/s1600/abraham+lincon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN6t-yn4636nwrvZp3l1E9imAQvr9saRMXVbrVKpFT4wkDrelgUtCY5gXQ2JsG_Fj8kAFLBLiZhOhE3_GYRabzdQID_fbT2pkU0Avi5kj7dDWod8KhjMk5aPpa6yRlCW09QIx3e_qrSVAA/s320/abraham+lincon.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.”</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Adhere to your purpose and you will soon feel as well as you ever did. On the contrary, if you falter, and give up, you will lose the power of keeping any resolution, and will regret it all your life.”</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.”</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.”</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.”</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“That some achieve great success, is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.”</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.”</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“If I am killed, I can die but once; but to live in constant dread of it, is to die over and over again.”</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a name='more'></a><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business. I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what’s said against me won’t amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.”</span></blockquote>
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Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0Sikar, Rajasthan, India27.6094 75.13991099999998427.4962275 74.977862499999986 27.722572500000002 75.301959499999981tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-69953707678282681702013-03-24T17:16:00.000-07:002013-03-24T17:16:05.707-07:00Good Morning SMS<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">knock! Knock!</span></div>
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May I come into Ur world?</div>
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I bring no flowers,no cakes.</div>
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But wishes to keep U fresh,</div>
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Prayer to keep U healthy,</div>
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And love to keep U smiling.</div>
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Good Morning.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Twinkle twinkle lazy star,</span></div>
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kitna soyega uth ja yaar,</div>
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up above the world so high,</div>
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Sun has risen in the sky,</div>
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uth ke jaldi pele chai,</div>
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then call me and say hi?</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">GooD MorninG</span></div>
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I</div>
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WISH</div>
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U</div>
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ONE GREAT MORNING</div>
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full of joy</div>
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full of love</div>
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lots of strength &</div>
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lots of blessings!</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If You Don’t Start Out The Day With A Smile, It Is Not Too Late To Start Practicing For Tomorrow … G^o^o^d M^o^r^n^i^n^g Have A Shiny & Smiley Day </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">True Wealth Is Not A Matter Of bank Accounts And Assets It’s In The Values We Live And Share As Well As The Person We Keep In Touch With & Care Good Morning </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cheerful people are like Sunlight.</span></div>
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They shine in to the corners of the heart &</div>
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offer bright mornings & fresh hopes….</div>
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+ + Good Morning + + to one such person.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Morning is not only sunrise</span></div>
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but a beautiful miracle of GOD.</div>
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that defeats the darkness and spread light.</div>
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may this be one more beautiful day 4 u.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The breeze has awakened the earth,</span></div>
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And sun has colored our world,</div>
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The birds have added melody,</div>
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I hope I’m not late to wish,</div>
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“Good morning”</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s Perfectly Legal To Kill Someone In Your Dreams, That’s Why I Wake Up With A Smile Everyday</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everyone Has To Admit That The Most Depressing Moment Is When You Wake Up Early And Realize That You Only Have Five Minutes Of Sleep Left. Good Morning</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Five steps to a lovely morning:</span></div>
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Close your eyes,</div>
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Take a deep breath,</div>
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Open jour arms wide,</div>
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Feel your heart beat & say</div>
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“It is too early.Let me sleep again”.</div>
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Good morning!</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Open yuur eyes so the sun can rise</span></div>
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Flowers can blossom</div>
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birds can sing</div>
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Because all r waiting to see your beautiful smile.</div>
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Good Morning!</div>
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Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-35199857962306722652013-03-24T03:34:00.002-07:002013-03-24T03:34:24.883-07:00Good Morning SMS<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Morning is a Wonderful Blessing,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Either Cloudy or Sunny.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It stands for Hope,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">giving us another start of what we call Life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Have a Good Morning & Day!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Smile increases value of face, Anger spoils beauty of soul, Faith is force of life, Confidence is companion of success, So keep smiling. Good Morning !</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pyari Si,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pehli Morning Me,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thandi Thndi,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hawao Me,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pyari Si,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Roshni Me,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pyar Bhri,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Duaon K Sath,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sabse Pahle,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ApKo Pyari si,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning.</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wrap a rainbow of joy in your heart,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let the sun paint a smile on your face,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remove all clouds of doubt & fear</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And receive god’s gift of life.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning!</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a name='more'></a><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nayi si subah naya sa savera,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Auraj ki kirno me hawao ka basera,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Khule asman me suraj ka chehra,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mubarak ho aapko ye hasin savera.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning!</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Morning Coolness,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rising Sun,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Singing Birds,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Melting Dew,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Along with dis little heart,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning!</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">People often feel something but express something else,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Day mean something but say something else</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So learn d art of slaying nothing</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">in such a way that it leaves nothing unsaid…</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning!</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Morning is the best time to greet,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"SPECIAL PEOPLE",</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">because the remaining hours,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">soon will be busy,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So let me say,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Keep SMILING,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">GOOD MORNING,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning!</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don't make your feelings like the garden, Everybody walk on it. But let it be like the sky. Everybody wishes to touch it.....! Good Morning!</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fresh flowers are waiting to disturb u</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hot coffee waiting to taste your lips</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sun, birds, cool air - all r looking</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">at your window to say u Good morning</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Have nice day.</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We’re not too close in distance,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We’re not too near in miles,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But text can still touch our hearts,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">thoughts can bring us smiles,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning!</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-85304232453682802872013-03-24T00:53:00.005-07:002013-03-24T00:53:40.797-07:00Good Morning SMS<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">suraj ke bina subah nhi hoti,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">chand ke bina raat nhi hoti,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Badal ke bina barsat nhi hoti,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">apki yaas ke bina din ki suruat nhi hoti...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning...</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lo Chay Piyo</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">;;; ;;;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">C(“”) C(“”)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“”"‘ “”"‘</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cup Aur Plate Dho Ke Wapas Karna</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Kal Fir Pilayenge.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning..</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a name='more'></a><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You'Re The Winter Sun,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You'Re The Summer Breeze,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On A December Rose,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You're A Drop Of Dew,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After Cloudy Nights,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of Good Morning Shimmer,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You're The First Ray,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You're The First Ray...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning,...</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">King Alexander's last words - "Keep my hands outside my grave so the world knows, the man who won the world had nothing in his hand when dying"...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Naa kisi ke</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"ABHAAV"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">me jeeyo,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Naa kisi Ke</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"PRABHAAV"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">me jeeyo,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Zindgi aapki hai,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bas apne Mast "SWABHAAV"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">me jeeyoo..!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning...</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A New Sun</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Fresh Day</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Cool Greetings</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Asking u to Forget all your Worries Sorrows & Tears for Someone Who Wants to See You Happy.gd morning</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">New morning</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">+New aim</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">+New decision</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">+New dream</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">+New idea</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">+New thinking</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">+New ambition</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">=GREAT SUCCESS</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">May God give u everything in life</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Warm Good Morning</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Larger Than D Sea !</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wider Than What Eyes Can See !</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Soft Like Silk Should Be !</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">&</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sweeter Than</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Honey of The Bee</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Pride Rolls Me Down,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Humbleness Pulls Me Up;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Lie Cracks Me Down,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Truth Builds Me Up;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When Sins Makes Me Dark,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Forgiveness Make Me Light;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When World Push Me Away,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My ALLAH Pulls Me Near <3</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">HAVE A BLESSED DAY.</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There Comes A Time In Life</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When You Have To Let Go Of All The Pointless Drama & People Who Create It…</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And Surround Yourself With The People Who Make You Laugh So Hard…</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That You Forget The Bad & Focus Soulely On Good. After All</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Life Is Too Short To Be Anything But HAPPY … =)</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i’d like mornings better,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If my mornings started with you.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good Morning My Love</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-48837243176084115932013-03-22T01:38:00.004-07:002013-03-22T01:38:55.014-07:00Animal Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tina : My dog doesn't have a nose.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Natasa: How does your dog smell?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Tina : Awful!</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg. He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
A passer by who’d seen everything remarked: “That’s very tolerant of you after what he just did.”</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
“Not really,” came the reply. “I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him.”</div>
</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a name='more'></a><br /></span></div>
<div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Q: What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
A: Take the words out of his mouth!</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.”</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
“I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. </span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Guest : Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat? Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from." </span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A snail entered a police station and told an officer, "I just got mugged by two turtles. They beat me up and took all my money!" The officer replied, "Why that's terrible. Did you get a good look at them?" "No sir, it all happened so fast!"</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Man to trainer: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes into the corner." Dog trainer : "That's OK, he is a Boxer."</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Q: What do fish take to stay healthy?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
A: Vitamin sea.</div>
</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-20012454420995499842013-03-21T17:42:00.001-07:002013-03-21T17:42:08.399-07:00One Line Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a name='more'></a><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A calendar's days are numbered.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A boiled egg is hard to beat.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He had a photographic memory which was never developed.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A plateau is a high form of flattery.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God must love stupid people. He made SO many.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-36322602464676534192013-03-21T17:36:00.004-07:002013-03-21T17:36:54.842-07:00One Line Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why don't you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a name='more'></a><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry ?</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Did you hear about the wife who shot her husband with a bow and arrow because she didn't want to wake the children.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-10066595938348518832013-03-21T17:31:00.002-07:002013-03-21T17:31:21.979-07:00One Line Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My girlfriend asked me, "Do You believe in love at first sight"? I said, "At the first sight of what"?</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don’t take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyhow.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sacred cows make the best burgers.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The trouble with life is that you’re halfway through before you realize it is a do-it yourself thing.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A will is a dead giveaway.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A backward poet writes inverse.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The email of the species is more deadly than the mail.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. (You can say that again).</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rehab is for quitters.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-28700282092105679062013-03-21T17:21:00.000-07:002013-03-21T17:24:57.036-07:00One Line Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My wife told me I should be more affectionate – so I got two girlfriends.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !!</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You never run out of things that can go wrong.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The dead batteries were given out free of charge.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-36312612066488327642013-03-21T17:06:00.003-07:002013-03-21T17:06:31.342-07:00One Line Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But the psychiatrist really helped me a lot. I would never answer the phone, because I was afraid. Now I answer it whether it rings or not.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To write with a broken pencil is pointless.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Old age begins when you start swapping meds with your parents.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Optimists age like wine. Pessimists age like milk.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-21278533601007693752013-03-21T01:48:00.000-07:002013-03-21T01:48:21.174-07:00One Line Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. </span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Trying to get tickets to see an Elvis tribute band, but when I phone it keeps saying press 1 for the money 2 for the show...</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-60946098204921947512013-03-21T01:46:00.000-07:002013-03-21T01:46:13.164-07:00One Line Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What did one ball say to the other ball? Nothing - he just looked round.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Two wrongs are only the beginning.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. </span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">War does not determine who is right but only who is left. </span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-55640493743734614952013-03-21T01:32:00.002-07:002013-03-21T01:35:13.951-07:00One Line Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The early bird might get the worm,but the second mouse gets the cheese.
</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-16065823630505625982013-03-19T19:27:00.001-07:002013-03-19T19:27:07.928-07:00Jokes For Girlfriend<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girl: Who is more beautiful Me or Moon?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
boy: I Don’t really Know but I know</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
when I see you I totally forget the Moon</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
and when I see the Moon I remember You</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Boy texts a girl</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: Hey!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Hi! What u doing?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: texting the most beautiful girl in the world.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Aww How cute!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: Ya! But She is not replying, so m texting U!</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">boy:I luv u</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
girl:Me too</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
boy:Tum mujhe kitna pyar karti ho?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
girl:Jitna tum mujhe karte ho</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
boy: Bhag salli.. main samjha tum waqai mujh se pyar karti ho.</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ladkiyo ke 7 jhut?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
1. I Love u.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
2. Aapki kasam.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
3. U r my 1st love.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
4. Balance nahi hai.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
5. Awaaz nahi aa rahi.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
6. Parents sath mein hai.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
7. Me tumhe hi yaad kar rahi thi.</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ek srvey se ye bat sabit hue hai klarke ladkiyo se zyada naik hai,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Report k mutabiq jb koi ladka kisi ladki ko dekhta hai tu uski zubanse forn ye alfaz nikalta hai</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
(WAH KYA)</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
(KHUBSURATI HAI)</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Kitni pyari ladki hai</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
jb k koi ladki kisi ladke ko dekhti hai to kehti hai</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
“Kmina jab dekho ghurta rehta hai”</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2 Larkiyon ko 20 Saal ki Saza mili .... Dono 1 hi Room mai 20 Saal guzarnay k bad</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Jab Ghar janay lagii to.... .</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
. 1 larki boli ..... chal thekk hai Baakii Baten Mobile per kartey hain.....</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Men need 100% talent to succeed in life.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Women need only 4%.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Because the remaining 36+24+36 helps...</div>
</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-78262554662949768542013-03-19T19:19:00.003-07:002013-03-19T19:19:58.391-07:00Jokes For Girlfriend<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today’s Relationships:</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
You can touch each other,</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
but</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
not each others phones..!!</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sometimes girls pretend to not like you, when they do!</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
but the problem is that</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Sometimes boys pretend to like you, when they don’t</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Every girl deserves a guy who makes her forget her heart was ever broken and every guy deserves a girl who appreciates his efforts.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Boy1: Meet my wife Tina :</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy2: Oh! I know her :-</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy1: oh How? :</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy2: actually we were caught sleeping together :</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy1: what??</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
What the hell?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy2 : during lecture in maths class dude</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Son to his Father: My girlfriend has left me & she sent me "private pictures" with herself and her new boyfriend .... what should I do</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Father: sent them all to her father</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Boy: What do you think, how do I play Guitar..?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: I wish you were on T.V.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: I am so happy to hear that, Am I that Good?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Ummm... Not really; if you were on T.V. I can at least switch it off</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girl:bYe Jo Samne Ladka Betha Hai Is Ka Naam Kya Hai</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Waiter: Yeh Ali Shahb Hain</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Yeh Mjhe Aik Ghantay Se Pareshan Kar Rahey Hain</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Waiter: Magar Wo To Apki Taraf Dekh Bhi Nahi Rahay?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Yahi To Pareshani Hai</div>
</span></blockquote>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-53676984900689355672013-03-19T19:02:00.003-07:002013-03-19T19:02:48.756-07:00Jokes For Girlfriend<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girlfriend - McDONLD chale? </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
BoyFriend - Spelling bol fir jayenge. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Gf-1 kam kar KFC chalte hain. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
BF-KFC ka Full form bol. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Gf-Rehne de kutte, samosa hi khila de..</div>
</span></blockquote>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wen A Girl Cries For A Guy,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
It Means She Really Misses Him.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But Wen A Guy Cries For A Girl,</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It Means No 1 Can Love That Girl More Than Him !!</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: You remind me of the sea.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: Why? Because I'm so wild and romantic?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: No. You make me sick.</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If Some</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Would Ask Me What A Beautiful Life Means.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
I Would Lean On Ur Shoulder And Hold U Close 2 Me,</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
And Answer…”Like This!!!”.</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girl: U Know What Kind Of Wedding I Want?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: No, What Kind?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: I’ve Always Dream Of A Big Wedding, In A Place Filled With Flowers And Friends.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: That’s Nice..</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Yeah, So What Kind Of Wedding Do U Want?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: 1 That Would Make U My Wife…</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Teacher :Isko Hindi ME Convert Karo</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
"hey friend look a beautiful Girl is standing there".</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Student: "wo dekho Saalo Tumhari BhappiKhad Hai."</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girl: I Hate D Fact That U R Taller Than Me</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: Trust Me There Is An Advantage In ……It</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Gal: What?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: When I Hug U, U Can Listen To My Heart Which Beats Only 4 U</div>
</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-39851666228271900422013-03-19T12:46:00.000-07:002013-03-19T12:46:01.059-07:00Jokes For Girlfriend<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Boy to girl before exam: Hey all d best
Girl: All da best to u too
But girl scored 80 marks & boy failed
Moral: Only boys wish with true heart..</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A guy runs into an ex-girlfriend, with whom he didn't have the greatest relationship.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
"You know, I was with another woman last night, but I was still thinking of you."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Why, because you miss me?"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"No, because it keeps me from coming too fast."</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At Traffic Signal Boyfriend To Girlfriend:Jaan Main Tumhari Ankhon Main Saara Jahan Dekh Sakta Hoo.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Paas Main Ek Aadmi Without Helmet Khada Tha, Usne Kaha Bhaisahab Mujhe Bas Itna Bata Do Ki Aage Chaurahe Par Helmet Ki checking Ho Rahi Hai Ya Nahi..</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
"I do like your beard, John, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I couldn't possibly shave it. She would kill me."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Oh, please?" his girlfriend purred.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
That night, John crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
His wife stirred, felt his face, and said, "Oh, Robert, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girl-Nice Mobile.
Where Did U Buy? Boy-I Won Dis In A Running Race.
Girl-How Many People Participated?
Boy- MOBILE OWNER, POLICE And ME.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">STRANGE REALITY OF FACEBOOK:
Girl Status: I am feeling sad.. 952 comments
Boy Status: I am going to commit suicide .. 2 likes. </span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girlfriend: Darling, Look into my eyes?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Boyfriend: Ok</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girlfriend: What do you see?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boyfriend: True Love!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girlfriend: Oye true love ko maar goli, dekh aankh mein kuch gira toh nahi….</div>
</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-33184085132675612092013-03-19T12:32:00.003-07:002013-03-19T12:32:55.258-07:00Jokes For Girlfriend<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
About 45 pounds.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
What's the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
45 minutes.</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A girl comes home and says to her boyfriend: "I have just had a tattoo of a sea shell on the inside of my leg at the top."</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Her boyfriend gets his head between her legs and puts his ear to the tattoo and listens to the sea. "That's brilliant," he said "you can also smell the fish market!"</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maths teacher: If u hav 12 chocolates n u give 5 to mina, 3 to tina n 4 to nina, then what will you get?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Student: 3 new GF!!</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Boy: "Isn't the principal a dummy!" </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: "Say, do you know who I am?" </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: "No."
Girl: "I'm the principal's daughter." </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: "And do you know who I am?" </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: "No," </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: "Thank god!"</div>
</span></blockquote>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girl: Do you know, married men live
longer than single man do? </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy : Do you know married men are
a lot more willing to die!</div>
</span></blockquote>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Boy : Marry me.. ? </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Do you have a house.. ? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy : No.. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Do you have a BMW car.. ? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy : No..
Girl: How much is your salary.. ? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy : No salary.. but,.. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: No but. You have nothing.. How can i
marry you.?? Leave please.!! </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: (talk to himself) I have one villa,
3 property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche..
Why I still need to buy BMW.?! How can I
get the salary when actually I am the BOSS..</div>
</span></blockquote>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Fact :
"A Girl Will Always Forgive And Forget
But
She Will Never Let You Forget That She Had
Forgiven And Forgotten.. </span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-85667047627941003332013-03-19T10:31:00.001-07:002013-03-19T10:31:55.712-07:00Jokes For Girlfriend<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girl: If u’ll try to kiss me, main shor macha doongi.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: Lekin yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahin hai.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: I know but formality to karni hi padegi…</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Boy: I Love You</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Shut Up You</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Shut Up</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: I Can't Live Without You</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Shut Up Boy:I Will Marry You</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Really?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: Shut Up</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girl: Monday 1st show k BALCONY k CORNER wale 2 ticket book kr k rakhna.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy: CORNER wala ticket na mile to?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Girl: Tohh movie dekhenge</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A Girl To Her Friend: I Know Two Guys And I Like Both,Tell Me Who Will Be The Lucky Guy?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Friend:Whoever You Get Married,other Guy Will Be Lucky.</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">बीबी के बाप को ससुर कहते हैं,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
तो गर्ल-फ्रेंड के बाप को क्या कहेंगे ???</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
शादी के लिए हाँ कर दी तो “ससुर”,</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
नहीं तो “असुर” !!!</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girlfriend:You Know My Mom Likes You A Lot.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Boyfriend:Whatever Sweetheart,Don't Worry I Will Marry With You Only.</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mammy:Beti Kaha Gai Thi?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Beti:Mamma Mere Classmate Nitin Se Milne.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Mammy:Kis Liye?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Beti:Aap Bhi Na Mamma,main Kaise Leti Mujhe Saram Aati Hai.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Ladki- Meri mummy ko tum bahut pasand aaye ho..</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boy (sharmate hue)- Kuchh bhi ho,mai shadi tumse hi karunga, Aunty se kehna mujhe bhool jaye.</div>
</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8619459198294487439.post-45605314929582747932013-03-19T01:49:00.003-07:002013-03-19T01:49:59.485-07:00Children And Kids Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ek chota baccha bahut der se ghar ke bahar khada darwaje ki ghanti bajane ki kosish kar raha tha.Toh ek budha aadmi aaya aur kaha:</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Budha aadmi: Kya kar rahe ho beta?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Baccha: Uncle, yeh ghanti bajana chahta hoon.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Budha aadmi (ghanti bajake): Yeh lo bajgaya, ab kya hai?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Baccha: Ab bhago!</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The teacher said to her class, “Does anyone know what is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?”</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Little Sarah put up her hand and said, “It’s a blackboard, miss.”</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
He wanted to go to high school.</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Teacher asks her class, “Does anybody know what starts with T, ends with T and is full of T?”</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
Little Benjy puts up his hand and says, “A teapot, miss.”</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. “How much is that Barbie in the window?”, he asks the shop assistant.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
In a manner she responds, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95,Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00.”</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The guy asks, “Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others?”</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
“That’s obvious,” the assistant states, “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture…..”</div>
</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</span><blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One breakfast time, little Rebecca says to her mum, “What two things can't you have for breakfast, mum?”</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
“I don’t know?”</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
“Lunch and dinner, of course.”</div>
</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Arvind Jangidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02090175008133230932noreply@blogger.com1