Just Joking

A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman and said,
''I haven't eaten anything in four days.''
She looked at him and said,
''I wish I had your willpower.''

A man inserted an ad in the classified: ''Wife wanted.''
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: ''You can have mine.''

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

First guy (proudly): ''My wife's an angel!''
Second guy: ''You're lucky, mine's still alive.''

How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

If you want your wife to listen
and pay undivided attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.

A little boy asked his father,
''Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?''
And the father replied,
''I don't know son, I'm still paying.

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

Soldier: "Sir, we are surrounded by the enemies",
Major: "Excellent ! We can now attack them in any direction"

My wife was complaining the other day saying that I never take her anywhere expensive anymore. So I said “come on, get in the car we’re going to the petrol station”.