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Police Jokes



On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you've got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid said, "Yeah." The cop said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike." The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,"
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

Once upon a time there was competition with Scotland yard, Indian and Pakistani police on one side and American police. They were asked to get a lion from the jungle.
Scotland yard went first and returned with a lion in 2 days. Every one appreciated them.
Then American police went and brought the lion in 1 days. Everyone was overwhelmed with their success.
Now the Indian and Pakistani police went on a joint operation. one day went by............. two days...... three days...... four days....... five days but no one returned
So a search party was formed and was asked to search for them.
As they entered they found out Indian and Pakistani police. They were beating the hell out of rabbit and saying "Kabool kar tu sher hai"

Santa Talab Me Naha Rha Tha,,
Police : Chal Oye Bhar Akar Kapde Pahen , Teri Talashi Leni Hai


3 ways to catch a Tiger :
1. NEWTONS METHOD : Allow the Tiger to catch u then u catch the Tiger

2. EINSTEINS METHOD : Chase the Tiger until it becomes tired, Then catch it.
3. INDIAN POLICE METHOD : Catch a cat and Beat it until it accepts itself a Tiger !

Three boys were going on short motor bike.
A police man gives hand to stop.

The boys shouted, stay away!!
we already three on one bike,
don't have space for you!!

A woman came to police:
Please, help. My husband is lost. Here is his photo and special peculiarities...

When you find him, tell him that my mother decided not to come!..

A Russian wife goes to police station.
Russian Wife: My husband went to the market yesterday to bring potatoes.

He has not returned home yet.
Russian Inspector: Why don't you cook something else?

2 thief’s were busy in a robbery….Suddenly police came out of building !!
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!

2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

Santa: mere ghar mein TV chodke baaki sabki chori hogayi hai
Police: chor ne sirf TV kisliye chodaa hoga

Santa: mujhe kya pataa sir main us samay TV mein serial dekh rahaa thaa

Traffic police chalan book nikaal ke bola: ‘Naam bol?’
Ladka: Galti ho gaya Sir…

Police: Naam Bol
Ladka: Sorry sir Iss baar jane do…dobara nahi hoga
Police: Naam bol
Ladka: “Trikulavattyy Thekkeparambli Venkateshwara Swami”
Police (book band karke): “Agli baar gaadi dhire chalana!”

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