Teacher Student Jokes-7

Teacher: Where does God live? 
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom. 
Teacher: Why do you say that? 
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'  

Teacher: "Anoop, stop showing off. Do you think you are the teacher of this class?"
Anoop: "No, Miss."
Teacher: "Then stop acting like a fool!"  

A student to his teacher: “ I haven’t got no pencil.” 
Teacher, correcting him: “ You don’t have any pencil.
He doesn’t have any pencils. We don’t have any pencils.”
Student, with a look of astonishment: “Where have all the pencils gone?” 

Teacher to girl: “Why are you late?”
Girl: “I started late from home”.
Teacher: “Why didn’t you start early?”
Girl: “By the time I woke up, it was too late to start early” 

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Teacher Student Jokes-6

Ben got 100 out of 100 in the exam. So the teacher gave him a gift and said, 
I hope you will do the same in the next exam.' 
Ben: Thank you Sir. I hope you will also print the question paper from my uncle’s printing shop next time.  

Teacher: Tom! I know you are bad at spelling. That’s why I told you to write down this sentence 10 times. Why did you write only 4 times? 
Tom: Sir, I am bad at math too.  

Maths mis: A=B, B=C, So A=C. 
Prove this method with example. 
Student: Mis, I love u. U love ur daughter. So i love ur daughter, 
Thats all mis  

Teacher:Ramu,get up.How can you sleep in my class? 
Ramu:I can teacher,if you keep your voice down.  

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Teacher Student Jokes-5

Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Ramu: Your name on this report card. 

After answering correct, the teacher said, 'Smith, tell me an important incident which never happened before within ten years'. 
Smith: I answered correct today.  

Teacher: Suppose, you have offered money and knowledge. You have to take one of them. Which one you should choose? 
Student: Money. 
Teacher: I would have taken knowledge. But why do you take money? 
Student: I have the lack of money that’s why. You have the lack of knowledge. That’s why 

Teacher: Sir, why doctors wear a mask when they do an operation? 
Student: For safety. If the patient dies, others can’t find out who did the operation.  

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Teacher Student Jokes-4

The maths teacher asked Little Billy "If you have £20 and I ask you for £10 as a 

loan, how many pounds would you still have?". 

"Twenty" came the reply. 
"How so?" enquired the teacher. 

"Just because you ask me to loan you £10, it doesn't mean I am going to". 

Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !"
Ramu: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Ramu: "She's a woman". 

Ramu: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
Shamu: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated". 

Teacher: If your father and mother both give you 50$, what you will get? 
Student: A new video game.  

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Teacher Student Jokes-3

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it". 

A teacher asked student, What is the full form of Maths?
The student answered, 'Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students' 

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher". 

The teacher asked, 'Give me an example of Coincidence?'
Student replied, My mom and dad got married on the same date. 

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Teacher Student Jokes-2

FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.  

Teacher: "what's the further away, America or the Moon?"
Student: "America!"
Teacher: "America? Whatever gave you that idea?"
Student: "Simple, We can always see the moon from the india, but not america!" 

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake. 
SAMMY : You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.  

Teacher :What happened in 1809?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1819?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was ten years old. 

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Teacher Student Jokes-1

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Student: The future tense is "u will go to jail". 

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? 
SARAH : "HIJKLMNO"!! 
TEACHER: What are you talking about? 
SARAH : Yesterday you said it's H to O 

Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself. 

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. 
GEORGE : Here it is! 
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : George!  

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Cool SMS-5

If you don't do stupid things while you're young, you'll have nothing to smile about when you're old.

Our parents say it's their house but when it's time to clean, it magically becomes our house too.

If u want 2 b happy 4a short time 
GET DRUNK..! 
If u want 2 b happy 4a long time 
FALL IN LOVE..! 
Bt if u want 2b happy 4ver, 
DON't EVEN THINK of these two!

Collateral benefit of the iPad: Husband & wife no longer block each other`s faces while reading newspapers.

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Cool SMS-4

Fool me once, shame on you.Fool me twice, shame on me.Fool me eight times, you're probably a woman.

Deve Gowda would be very happy to hear about this Right to Sleep. No? As and when he wakes up and finds out about it.

Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate & the third is routine.

Funny Fact :
If it's ur birthday in november, then u know ur parents really enjoyed... "The valentine's day"

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Cool SMS-3

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer walking down the street with his hands in his own pockets.

If drama was a city, honey, you'd be the mayor.

A rupee is easy 2 earn...but a smile is hard 2 find...rupee loses its value...smile increases its worth..i lost a rupee when i sms u...but who cares! i won ur smile...

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. Bartender says, 'What is this, a joke?'

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Cool SMS-2

What's the difference between wife n neighbour's wife? 
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

Olny once in your life
u meet someone with whom
u can spend ur time
u can share ur happiness
n sorrows.
Till then enjoy with the wrong one!

Q. What will happen if Brooke shield marries james bond? 
A. She will become BrookE BOND.

A candle may melt
And its fire may die,
But the love you have given me
Will always stay as a flame in my heart.

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Cool SMS-1

Friends are like fishes
You have to sit patiently for a long time 
To catch a nice one
Just like I caught you
Better stay nice or I’ll fry you.

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up.

Please remind me 2 remind U about reminding me to send U this reminder that reminds me of reminding U that U never have to remind me 2 remember U, I ALWAYS DO!

Top 10 sardarji inventions............ 
1) The water-proof towel 
2) Solar powered torch 
3) Submarine revolving door 
4) A book on how to read 
5) Inflatable dart board 
6) A dictionary index 
7) Ejector seat in a helicopter 
8) Powdered water 
9) Pedal-powered wheel chair 
10) Water-proof tea bag

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