Jokes About Funny Boss

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”

The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”

When you’re on a workplace training course, think of it like this:

When you start the course, you are on-course.

When you’re in the middle of the course, that’s group intercourse.

When you’ve finished the course, that’s when you’re off course, of course.

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Jokes About Funny Boss

A sales clerk asked his boss how to handle people who complained about the current prices compared to the low prices in the good old days.

“Just act surprised and tell them you didn’t think that they were old enough to remember them.”

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office.

When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.”

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Jokes About Funny Boss

The boss is finally old enough to retire from the company. On his last day of work, he ordered a farewell party for himself. The boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling about him by writing on the farewell card, so later he could remember how his staff “miss” him. Most people are writing standard phrases like, “Without you, the company will never be the same,”

“We will always remember you,” etc.

Obviously the boss was not satisfied. “I need something from the bottom of your heart, something really touching, you know. Okay, John, you have been working with me for the last 20 years. You are my best staff. I am retiring now. What do you have to say?”

Slowly but firmly, John wrote, “The best news in 20 years.”

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”

“We’re short-handed, Smith” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”

“Thanks, boss,” says Smith “I knew I could count on you!”

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Jokes About Funny Boss

A man went to a pet shop to purchase a parrot. When he entered the pet shop, he noticed that there are three identical parrots and so he asked the store owner about the cost of those parrots. The store owner pointed the first parrot and said that its worth is $500. The man then asked why it is so expensive. The owner said that the parrot can do a lot of things, especially operating the computer.

The man pointed the second parrot and the shop owner told him that the second parrot costs $1000. The man was deeply surprised and asked for explanation why it is very expensive. The owner said that the second parrot can do all the things that the first parrot can. Aside from that, it also knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

The man pointed out to the last parrot and he cannot believe that the cost of the third parrot is $2000. The man then asked the owner, “What can it do?” The shop owner replied and said “well I never seen that parrot doing a thing, but the two parrots call him boss!”

Sam walks into his boss’s office. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.” After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5% raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave. ”By the way”, asks the boss as Sam is getting up, “which three companies are after you?” “The electric company, water company, and phone company”, Sam replied.

Boss: Why did you leave the job?

Applicant: Illness

Boss: What was the trouble?

Applicant: My boss was sick of me!

A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him.

The dog looked up and said, "Don't be surprised. This is just part of my job."  "Incredible!" exclaimed the man. "I can't believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!" 

"Please don't!" said the dog. "If he finds out I can talk, he'll make me answer the phone, too!"

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Jokes About Funny Boss

A junior in office dialed his boss's number by mistake & said: Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in 2 minutes

Boss Shouted: Do u know who you are talking to?

Jr: No!

Boss: I'm boss of office.

Jr(in same tone):& do you know who you are talking to?

Boss: No!

Junior: THANK GOD .. And disconnected the phone :)

Human resource manager to an applicant: "Before our company accepts you to work here, I need to know if you are often late and if you tend to tell lies and steal things?"

"No. But if the company needs this kind of people I can learn quickly."

My boss walked past my desk and asked me: "Why are you not working?"

I replied "Because I never saw you coming Sir".

Arguing with your Boss is Like Wrestling With a Donkey in the Mud. After some Time You Will Realize that You are Getting Dirty and the Donkey is Enjoying it..!

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