ओ पाजी कदी हंस भी लिया करो

डैड: बेटा, बताओ जान कहां से निकलती है ?

बेटा: खिड़की से.

डैड: वो कैसे ?

बेटा: कल दीदी एक लड़के से कह रही थी – “जान, खिड़की से निकल जाओ.”

A baby mosquito came back after its 1st fight.

Dad asked: “how did u feel?”

It replied: “Dad it was wonderful. everyone was clapping for me.”

Moral: Take everything positively

प्रश्नः आप एक पतली दुबली सुखक्ड, लोमडी को हथिनि कैसे बना सकते हैं ?

उत्तरः बस उससे शादी कर डालो !

Height Of A True Bad Luck.

A Guy And A Girl Met Last Time For Their Break-Up..

Girl’s Father Caught Them.

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Funny Jokes

Satna: Ek bar mere upar se scooter nikal gaya, par fir bhi muje kutch nahi hua.
Banta: Yeh to kutch bhi nahi... Ek bar mere upar se aeroplane nikal gaya, me fir bhi bach gaya.

Sethji, aap hamare anath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?
Funny Bania: Mein anath ashram mein apne 4 bachhe bhej sakta hu.

Teacher: Agar dharti pe pani na hota to kya hona tha.
Bania ka beta: Hum to kangaal ho jate. Mera bapu milk me kya milata?

Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi, jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi to vo bola thoda pas ho k baith, ek sawari or baith sakti hai.

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Husband Wife Jokes

Husband: Bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aakhen di hai chawal se pathar nhi nikal sakti?
WIFE: Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daat diye hai 2-4 pathar nhi chaba sakte?

Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hun kyo ki woh bhi abhi ye hi puchane wali hai.

Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

Husband:u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill

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Husband Wife Jokes

In a divorce court a woman told the judge: "Your honour, I want to divorce my husband." "But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me." The judge asked, "How do you know ?" She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Possible Reasons When A Man Opens a car door for wife
1) The Car Is New.
2) The Wife Is New
3) (Most Imp) She Is Not His Wife

Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!

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Fresh Jokes

American says: " US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."
Sardarji says: " Accha , India me to shaadi……… Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jai mata di.

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar - No sir, only small Babies!!!

A Sardar enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab?
Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

Santa went to Mysore palace.
Tourist guide – Santa ji, plz dont sit there, its Tipu Sultan's chair
Santa - Oye dont worry yaar. I'll get up when he comes.

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Short Funny Jokes

Santa 14th floor se niche gir gaya,
Girte waqt usne apni ghar ki khidki seapni biwi ko roti banate huye dekha aurwo zor se chilaya
“Mere liye mat banana…”

1 Baar Santa kO
Raste mE Patthar Mila
UspE Likha Tha
“Patthar kO Palat Lo Kch Ban Jaoge”
Jaise Hi Usne Palta
Dusri Taraf Likha Tha”Bewkuf Ban Gya

Santa: Aaj TV pe 30 feet ka saap dikhane wale h.
Banta: Acha
Par mai nhi dekh pawunga.
Santa: kyu
Banta: Mera TV to 21 inch ka hi hai

Santa ke bete ka accident ho gaya
Dr.- apke bete ke dono leg katne padenge
Santa ne apna sar pakad liya
Dr.- kya hua?
Santa-kal hi nalayak ko nayi chappal dilayi thi

Santa: maine apki dukan se murgi dana kharida tha
DUKANDAR: to kya usme koi kharabi nikli
Santa:mahina ho gya muje khet me boye ab tak murgi nhi ugi

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Cute SMS Jokes

Lines by School boy…Love is when i walk to other side of classroom
to sharp my pencil, Just to See her..N then realize that,
.
.
.
.
.
Im holding a pen..!! 

Cheeers!!
Good news 4u.
Thums up pio.
pepsi pio.
juice pio.
beer pio.
kyunki

.

.

ab
HUGGIES pe Rs12/-off!!
Karlo susu chaddi me!!

A fantastic Letter by a little Kid who hates Maths:
Dear maths,
Plz grow up soon &
try to solve your own problems.
Don’t depend on others

Romantic Lines of SMALL CHILD
Me tume bhulne ki bahot kosis kalta hu,
pal kya kalu mummy loz BAADAM thila deti hai,
aul muje tumali yad fil aajati hai

3 Things to learn from a CHILD:
-To Be Happy For No Reason.
-To Be Always Busy Doing Something.
-To Know How To Demand Small Things Without Ego.

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