One Line Jokes

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

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One Line Jokes

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma

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One Line Jokes

My girlfriend asked me, "Do You believe in love at first sight"? I said, "At the first sight of what"?

I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.

Don’t take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyhow.

Sacred cows make the best burgers.

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One Line Jokes

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.

My wife told me I should be more affectionate – so I got two girlfriends.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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One Line Jokes

When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls.

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One Line Jokes

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

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One Line Jokes

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.

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One Line Jokes

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

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