Short Funny Jokes

Santa 14th floor se niche gir gaya,
Girte waqt usne apni ghar ki khidki seapni biwi ko roti banate huye dekha aurwo zor se chilaya
“Mere liye mat banana…”

1 Baar Santa kO
Raste mE Patthar Mila
UspE Likha Tha
“Patthar kO Palat Lo Kch Ban Jaoge”
Jaise Hi Usne Palta
Dusri Taraf Likha Tha”Bewkuf Ban Gya

Santa: Aaj TV pe 30 feet ka saap dikhane wale h.
Banta: Acha
Par mai nhi dekh pawunga.
Santa: kyu
Banta: Mera TV to 21 inch ka hi hai

Santa ke bete ka accident ho gaya
Dr.- apke bete ke dono leg katne padenge
Santa ne apna sar pakad liya
Dr.- kya hua?
Santa-kal hi nalayak ko nayi chappal dilayi thi

Santa: maine apki dukan se murgi dana kharida tha
DUKANDAR: to kya usme koi kharabi nikli
Santa:mahina ho gya muje khet me boye ab tak murgi nhi ugi

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Cute SMS Jokes

Lines by School boy…Love is when i walk to other side of classroom
to sharp my pencil, Just to See her..N then realize that,
.
.
.
.
.
Im holding a pen..!! 

Cheeers!!
Good news 4u.
Thums up pio.
pepsi pio.
juice pio.
beer pio.
kyunki

.

.

ab
HUGGIES pe Rs12/-off!!
Karlo susu chaddi me!!

A fantastic Letter by a little Kid who hates Maths:
Dear maths,
Plz grow up soon &
try to solve your own problems.
Don’t depend on others

Romantic Lines of SMALL CHILD
Me tume bhulne ki bahot kosis kalta hu,
pal kya kalu mummy loz BAADAM thila deti hai,
aul muje tumali yad fil aajati hai

3 Things to learn from a CHILD:
-To Be Happy For No Reason.
-To Be Always Busy Doing Something.
-To Know How To Demand Small Things Without Ego.

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Teacher Student Jokes-7

Teacher: Where does God live? 
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom. 
Teacher: Why do you say that? 
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'  

Teacher: "Anoop, stop showing off. Do you think you are the teacher of this class?"
Anoop: "No, Miss."
Teacher: "Then stop acting like a fool!"  

A student to his teacher: “ I haven’t got no pencil.” 
Teacher, correcting him: “ You don’t have any pencil.
He doesn’t have any pencils. We don’t have any pencils.”
Student, with a look of astonishment: “Where have all the pencils gone?” 

Teacher to girl: “Why are you late?”
Girl: “I started late from home”.
Teacher: “Why didn’t you start early?”
Girl: “By the time I woke up, it was too late to start early” 

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Teacher Student Jokes-6

Ben got 100 out of 100 in the exam. So the teacher gave him a gift and said, 
I hope you will do the same in the next exam.' 
Ben: Thank you Sir. I hope you will also print the question paper from my uncle’s printing shop next time.  

Teacher: Tom! I know you are bad at spelling. That’s why I told you to write down this sentence 10 times. Why did you write only 4 times? 
Tom: Sir, I am bad at math too.  

Maths mis: A=B, B=C, So A=C. 
Prove this method with example. 
Student: Mis, I love u. U love ur daughter. So i love ur daughter, 
Thats all mis  

Teacher:Ramu,get up.How can you sleep in my class? 
Ramu:I can teacher,if you keep your voice down.  

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Teacher Student Jokes-5

Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Ramu: Your name on this report card. 

After answering correct, the teacher said, 'Smith, tell me an important incident which never happened before within ten years'. 
Smith: I answered correct today.  

Teacher: Suppose, you have offered money and knowledge. You have to take one of them. Which one you should choose? 
Student: Money. 
Teacher: I would have taken knowledge. But why do you take money? 
Student: I have the lack of money that’s why. You have the lack of knowledge. That’s why 

Teacher: Sir, why doctors wear a mask when they do an operation? 
Student: For safety. If the patient dies, others can’t find out who did the operation.  

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Teacher Student Jokes-4

The maths teacher asked Little Billy "If you have £20 and I ask you for £10 as a 

loan, how many pounds would you still have?". 

"Twenty" came the reply. 
"How so?" enquired the teacher. 

"Just because you ask me to loan you £10, it doesn't mean I am going to". 

Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !"
Ramu: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Ramu: "She's a woman". 

Ramu: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
Shamu: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated". 

Teacher: If your father and mother both give you 50$, what you will get? 
Student: A new video game.  

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Teacher Student Jokes-3

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it". 

A teacher asked student, What is the full form of Maths?
The student answered, 'Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students' 

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher". 

The teacher asked, 'Give me an example of Coincidence?'
Student replied, My mom and dad got married on the same date. 

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Teacher Student Jokes-2

FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.  

Teacher: "what's the further away, America or the Moon?"
Student: "America!"
Teacher: "America? Whatever gave you that idea?"
Student: "Simple, We can always see the moon from the india, but not america!" 

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake. 
SAMMY : You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.  

Teacher :What happened in 1809?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1819?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was ten years old. 

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Teacher Student Jokes-1

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Student: The future tense is "u will go to jail". 

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? 
SARAH : "HIJKLMNO"!! 
TEACHER: What are you talking about? 
SARAH : Yesterday you said it's H to O 

Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself. 

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. 
GEORGE : Here it is! 
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : George!  

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Popular Jokes-5

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

A man was on a beach when he discovered an old lamp in the sand. He rubbed it and a genie popped out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes. The only condition is that you cannot wish for more wishes." "Alright," said the man, "I wish for more genies."

Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
Bush: Wow! How many?
Manamohan Singh: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher

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Popular Jokes-4

Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said ‘Switched Off’!
Banta : Nahi Pape, it’s my HELLO TUNE!

Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.
Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo.
Malika gave him 1000 Rs.
Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?
Malika: Pehli bar kisine behan kaha!

The lecturer is taking the class seriously.
One of the student looking towards the window side in the class room. The lecturer asks the student. For what purpose are you coming school?
Student: For vidhya sir!
Lecturer: Then why you are looking towards window?
Student: Vidhya’s(Girl friend) not reached the school yet now.

Laloo was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure what to be filled in column
“Salary Expected”.
After much thought he wrote: YES Expected!

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Popular Jokes-3

Taxi driver: Mam, u r the 3rd pregnant lady whom I’m dropping to
Airport today
Lady: But I’m not pregnant
Driver: But we hvn’t reached airport yet

A man went to his doctor with an unusual problem. “Doctor,” the man began, “I have a strange problem that I’m hoping that you can help me with. Whenever I drink coffee, I experience a sharp, excruciating pain.”
The doctor replied, “Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before you drink.”

Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai?
Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai!!!

Sardar had twins. He named them Tin and Martin.
Again had twins and named them Peter and Repeater.
Again twins and named them Max and Climax.
Again the same. Disgusted Sardar named them Tired & Retired.

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Popular Jokes-2

During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse?
He is given his last chance to run away.

There was once a guy from a village he came for kaun banega crorepati contest .amitabh asks him whats ur fathers name he said thik hai
big b asks him this question thrice atlast he gets angry n tells him main kabse aapka pitha ka naam poch raha hoon aur aap thik hai bol rahe hai
then the other man says pahele options to deejiye

An old man walking along the river bank suddenly spotted a boy drowning in the river. The man started shouting "HELP! HELP! I can't swim", a man passing by the road shouted back "Will you ever grow up! I also can't ride a bicycle but you'll never hear me yelling about it in the street"

A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries – “DOC, DOC… I can’t feel my legs, I can’t feel my legs!!!
“Well of course you can’t silly!”, replies the Doc… “I’ve cut off both of your arms.”

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Popular Jokes-1

Teacher: What is common between Buddha , Jesus , Mahavir and Guru Nanak?
Student: All of them were born on Punjab Government Holidays!

KAASHHH 
Dil Me Agar "CPU" Hota To ? - Sabhi Yaadon Ko Save Kar Sakte, 
Dimaag Me Agar "PRINTER" Hota To ?- Khayaalo Ka "PRINT OUT" Nikal Dete, 
Dharkan Me Agar "PEN DRIVE" Hoti To?- Zindagi Ka Backup Le Lete , 
Mann Me Jo "BLUETOOTH" Hota To ?- Baaton Ko Transfer Kar Lete, 
Ankhon Me Jo "WEBCAM" Hota To ?- Tasviron Ko Receive Kar Sakte, 
Kaash Zindagi Bhi Ek "COMPUTER" Hoti ?- ToH Restart Kar Lete.. 

Teacher : Pappu, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
Pappu : No, teacher, it’s the same dog… we both wrote on!!!

“Why do you take baths in milk?”
“I can’t find a cow tall enough for a shower.”

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April Fool SMS-5

Aisa Dostana hamara, 
Mai Kashti tu Kinara, 
Mai Dhanush tu Teer, 
Mai Matar tu Paneer, 
Mai Varsha tu Badal, 
Mai Hot tu Cool, 
Mai April tu…?

Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak 
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak 
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak 
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak 
“Are bhai, aage bhi to bolo” 
Hawa hi hawa hai.

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !... Now read it without the word cat.

WARNING ! ! ! 
This is a VIRUS . . . 
When you turn your phone off it WON'T WORK AGAIN

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April Fool SMS-4

If u don’t mind
If u don’t feel bad
If don’t hesitate
Please……
give me a
K
ki
kis
kiss
kiss……
kissan jam bottle
Happy April fool Day

Someone Misses U.. 
Needs U,, Worries About U,, Lonely Without U 
Guess Who? 
THE MONKEY IN THE ZOO

Phulone phulo ko phulo ki phulwari me wish kiya. 
U arethe most beauti-fool, wonder-fool among all fools 
Happy Fools Day.

janab msg to pura padh liya kro. pata nhi kon kub pahle april fool bana de.

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April Fool SMS-3

Cheese is Cheese,, Butter is butter
If u 4get me,, I will throw u in
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
* G U T T E R *
*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Am Going To U.S.A.
Don’t Worry The Flight Is After 4 Days
Surprised?
?
?
After 4 Days it’s 1st April,
U r 1st Fool Of 2012

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April 
when conductor asked for ticket. 
He gave Rs.10/- 
and took the ticket and said april fool. 
I have pass.

You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!
Just a second, don’t misunderstand.
CUTE means:
C: Creating
U: Useless
T: Troubles
E: Everywhere..
Happy April Fool Day

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April Fool SMS-2

Hey U Know 
Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1 
U Know Why?? 
If she accept its your luck 
otherwise just tell April Foooooll.

When things go wrong
When sadness fills your heart
When tears flow in your eyes
Always remember 3 things
1) I am with you
2) You have money
3) Bar is open, Lets go.
Happy April Fool Day.

31st March Or 1st april 
Fool is Fool doesn't matter. 
Wishing very happy, prosperous and joyful 
Fool Day to the King of Fools.. :)

So Sweet is Ur SMILE???
so Sweet is Ur STYLE???
so Sweet is Ur VOICE???
so Sweet is Ur EYE?????
see …….how Sweetly I LIE.
Happy April Fool Day!

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April Fool SMS-1

When March goes on forever, And Aprils twice as long, Who gives a damn if spring has come, As long as winters gone.

1st April ko logo ko murkh banane k 5 tarike..
.
.
.
Ye pahela tha..
Happy all fools day..

In your life, when you wake up & don’t see any one, then come to me, I’ll be there to hold Ur hand & take you to the EYE SPECIALIST

Gulab Ka FOOL bago me khil raha hai,
Chameli ka FOOL chaman me mahek raha hai,
Kamal ka FOOL pani me tair raha hai,
Aur APRIL ka FOOL mera sms padh raha hai.

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Funny SMS 3

SILENCEIs d best Answerfor all questionsSMILEIs d best Reactionin all situationsUnfortunatelyBOTH Never Help Inany EXAM, VIVA, REVIEW & INTERVIEW :P:)

Two Wise Advises for Married PeoplesNever laugh at your wife's choices...(You are on of them...)Never be Prouf of Your Choices...(Your Wife is one of them...)

Jis waqt khuda ne tumhain banaya hoga,ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga...pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun..phir ussay zoo ka khayal aaya hoga..

boy: how do i play the guitar????girl: u should be on TV for ur talent :|boy: am i so good??? :D :Ogirl: if u were on TV,, i can atleast switch it off ;/

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