Old Age Jokes

A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked.She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”

Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ''How do you really feel? I mean, you're 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?''
''Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself.''

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the great depression. I was down to my last nickel.”
“I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, i sold the apple for ten cents.”

“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.”

“Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, ‘Windy, isn’t it?‘ No, ‘the second man replied, ‘it’sThursday.’ The third man chimed in, ‘So am I. Let’s have a beer.’

What's the best thing about turning 65? No more calls from insurance salesmen.

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