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Latest Husband Wife Jokes

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: why three?
Husband: 4 u and your parents.

Q: Why doesn't the India law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Husband: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

Wife to Husband: In my dream you were buying a diamond ring for me!
Husband : yeah I saw your dad was paying for it

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I would be in your hands all day.
Husband: Really! but you probably did not realize that I am not reading the same newspaper each day! but a new one everyday

Wife : Mene apki Birthdy par itni mehngi chiz li ha k ap dekhte hi khush ho jaogy
Hsbnd:shukar he tumhe mera b khyal aya.Dikhao!
Wife : Me abhi pehn kar aati hon.

Why does a man keep his wife’s picture in his pocket?
because whenever he is in trouble,
He looks at the picture and thinks ....
if i can face this, I can face anything what-so-ever

Husband to a newly wed wife I could go to the end of the world for you.
Wife:Thanks,but promise me you will stay there for the rest of your life.

Biwi Shohar Sy: Aapko Mera Banaya Hua Halwa Pasand Nai Aaya Bachy To 3 Palaiten kha Chuky Han?
Andar Sy Awaz Ai Mama 1 Palate Aur Dena 1 kitab ki Jild Reh Gai Hai.

Wife: Jab main gana gaati hon to aap bahar kyon chaly jaty hain??
Husband: Takay bahar waly ye na samjhen k main tumhara gala daba raha hon.

Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I took part in a race last week and Jenny was the name of my horse.
Wife: Sorry..!
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again
Husband: What now..?
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.

Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”

Wife to husband- Zara kitchen se machis lana,
Husband- Yahan to koi machis nahi hai,
Wife- Mujhe pata tha tum to ho andhe tumhain Milega hi nahi iis liye main pehle hi le aayi thi.

PATI:Khana taiyar hai
WIFE:Thodi der aur
PATi:Thik hai,Me Bahr kha leta hu
WIFE:5min ruko
PATI:5min me taiyar ho jayga
WIFE:Nahi Me Taiyar ho jati hu

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