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FRESH FREE HUMOROUS JOKES.New & Fresh Cool SMS, Urdu / Hindi Cool SMS Jokes, English Cool SMS, Cool SMS Quotes, Funny Cool SMS Text Messages, Latest Cool SMS Collection.Desi Jokes Sms - Desi Jokes

Jock : I'm sorry to hear your factory was burnt down. What did you manufactures?
Dick : Fire extinguishers.

Sardar g 1 Girl k sath chips kha raha tha
Girl ne pyar se ankho mai ankhain dal k pocha kuch feel ker rahe ho?
Sardar: Han tum mujh se ziada chips kha rahi ho.

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

Bob: Don’t be afraid of my dog. You know the old proverb, “A barking dog never bites.”
Rich: Yes, you know the proverb, and I know the proverb, but does your dog know the proverb?

There was a teacher who said if there are any idiots in this room please stand up. A boy stands up then the teacher said 'Why do you consider yourself as an idiot?'
He said 'Actually I don't but I hate to see you stand up there all by yourself!'

Maa apne bete se kehti: Beta so ja warna gabbar aa jayega.
Beta apni maa se kehta: Maa mujhe Chocolate do varna papa se keh dunga ke mere sone ke bad roz gabbar aata hai.

A man is talking to God and asks him: 'God, why did you make woman so beautiful?' To which God replies: 'so that you would find them attractive.'
The the man asks: 'God, but why did you have to make them so dumb?' To which God replies: 'so that they would find you attractive!'

TEACHER: Why are you late?
LJOHNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
LJOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

Mr. Sen and Mr. Singh were two good friends. Mr. Sen was thin and Mr. Singh was fat.
Mr. Singh: “Yaar Sen, seeing you outsiders would think that there is famine in India.
Mr. Sen: “And seeing you, they would know the cause of famine.”

TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
LJOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America?
LJOHNY: George!

minister asked. "Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer. "What do you do?" The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same.
Let me give you an example. The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
LJOHNY: Don't bite any.

A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?'
The father replied: 'Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine.'

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
LJohnny: Brotherly love.

A man was standing in a field alone. He was doing nothing and was looking at nothing. Soon a driver passed by, he got out of the car and went to the man in the field and asked him, 'What are you doing?' The man in the field replied 'They say they give Nobel Prizes to people who are outstanding in their fields.

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
LJohnny : A teacher

Employee: I have been here 11 years doing three men’s work for one man’s pay. Now I want a raise.
Boss: Well, I can’t give you a raise, but if you’ll tell me who the other two men are, I’ll fire them.

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really,really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"

Film Extra: “So, would you get my signatures on the contract, sir!”
Producer: “A verbal contract is enough:”
Film Extra: “But Sir, last time I’d a verbal contract and I drew a verbal salary.

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah (in bible) was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher, she's dead."


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