Funny Jokes

Satna: Ek bar mere upar se scooter nikal gaya, par fir bhi muje kutch nahi hua.
Banta: Yeh to kutch bhi nahi... Ek bar mere upar se aeroplane nikal gaya, me fir bhi bach gaya.

Sethji, aap hamare anath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?
Funny Bania: Mein anath ashram mein apne 4 bachhe bhej sakta hu.

Teacher: Agar dharti pe pani na hota to kya hona tha.
Bania ka beta: Hum to kangaal ho jate. Mera bapu milk me kya milata?

Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi, jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi to vo bola thoda pas ho k baith, ek sawari or baith sakti hai.

Beggar: Kuch khaane ko do!
Pandit: Tamatar Khao
Beggar: Roti do baba
Pandit: Tamatar Khao
Beggar: Tamatar hi khila do
Pandit's Wife: Ye Totla bolte he, Keh rahe he KAMAKAR KHAO !

Teacher: Aaj tum late kyu aaye? School 7 baje shuru hota he.
Funny Kid: Madam, Aap meri fikar mat kia karo, School shuru karwa dia karo.

Bhikhari: Hello Taaj Hotel, 1 Pizza,
1 Biryani aur 1 Ras Malai Bhej Do.
Taj: Kiske Naam pe bheju, Sir?
Bhikari: Bhagwan Ke Naam Pe.!

Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho? , Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho? , Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir

Santa is asked to translate a phrase in english:
“Dukh Hamesha Naal Rehnde Ne Per Khushi Aundi Jandi Rehendi Hai.”
Santa Translated it as: My wife is always with me but her sister comes and goes.

Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai?
Student: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD matlab bail gaadi

Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap?
Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga

Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi.
girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?
Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha

Santa: tumhaara beta bilkul tumhaara jaisa hi dikhtaa hai.
Banta: dheere se bol... woh padosi ka beta hai

Santa class me haans raha tha,
Ek ladka bola : Stand UP, kaun ho tum?
Santa : Tum kaun ho?
Ladka : Mein monitor hu
Santa : Te phir mein CPU hu!!!

Santa:- Abe Banta tu yaha baitha hai…
Tere dost ki death ho gai hai… Tu gaya Kyu Nahi????
Banta:- Uss saale ne mujhe bulaya hi nahi

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