One Line Jokes

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

The early bird might get the worm,but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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