Just Joking

The mother says to her daughter, "Did you enjoy your first at school?"
The daughter answers, "First day? Do you mean I have to go back again tomorrow?"

Principal: "I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?"Johnny: "Nothing, sir."Principal: "Exactly!"

A: Why are you late?B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar Note.A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?B: No, I was standing on it.

A: I have the perfect son.B: Does he smoke?A: No, he doesn't.B: Does he drink whiskey?A: No, he doesn't.B: Does he ever come home late?A: No, he doesn't.B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

A student is talking to his teacher.Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"Teacher:" Of course not."Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework."

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up."Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?""Wrong number," replied the girl.

The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.The doctor says, "Next, please."

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

In the classroom the teacher is asking a student to do something.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with "I." Student: I is the ... Teacher: Stop! Never put "is" after "I." Always put 'am' after "I." Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.