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If you don't do stupid things while you're young, you'll have nothing to smile about when you're old.
Our parents say it's their house but when it's time to clean, it magically becomes our house too.
If u want 2 b happy 4a short time 
GET DRUNK..! 
If u want 2 b happy 4a long time 
FALL IN LOVE..! 
Bt if u want 2b happy 4ver, 
DON't EVEN THINK of these two!
Collateral benefit of the iPad: Husband & wife no longer block each other`s faces while reading newspapers.

How to make a PIZZA for dinner. 
Ingredients required 
phone, menu and a debit card!
Syllabus - 80 GB 
We study - 80 MB 
Retails in mind - 80KB 
Write in exam - 80 Bytes 
Result comes in binary digits 
i.e. 
00 
01 
10 
11...
Jesus says to John: `Come forth, I`ll give you eternal life.` John came fifth and he won a toaster
But a Lecturer can put a whole class to sleep!!
Why is a Lecturer greater as compared to a Mother? Coz a Mother can put only 1 child to sleep.. 
Right to sleep: That`s the first time ever SC said something positive about Dr. Manmohan Singh's work.

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