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Popular Jokes-1

Teacher: What is common between Buddha , Jesus , Mahavir and Guru Nanak?
Student: All of them were born on Punjab Government Holidays!
Dil Me Agar "CPU" Hota To ? - Sabhi Yaadon Ko Save Kar Sakte, 
Dimaag Me Agar "PRINTER" Hota To ?- Khayaalo Ka "PRINT OUT" Nikal Dete, 
Dharkan Me Agar "PEN DRIVE" Hoti To?- Zindagi Ka Backup Le Lete , 
Mann Me Jo "BLUETOOTH" Hota To ?- Baaton Ko Transfer Kar Lete, 
Ankhon Me Jo "WEBCAM" Hota To ?- Tasviron Ko Receive Kar Sakte, 
Kaash Zindagi Bhi Ek "COMPUTER" Hoti ?- ToH Restart Kar Lete.. 
Teacher : Pappu, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
Pappu : No, teacher, it’s the same dog… we both wrote on!!!
“Why do you take baths in milk?”
“I can’t find a cow tall enough for a shower.”

Pandit: I am so kanjoos that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.
Bania: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
The man says, “OK, give me the good news first.”
The doctor says, “The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.”
The man replies, “Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?”
The doctor says, “The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.”
A Sexy Girl went to a shop to buy Bikini with design of flag of USA. On seeing the Bikini, she said something that confused and irritated the shopkeeper. Guess what did she say.
Show me some more colors.
Rabri: Why have you increased speed of car?
Laloo: Break has failed. We should reach home before accident.
Son to his mother “The people next door must be poor.”
Mother said, “Why do you say that?”
The son replied, “Because they made such a fuss when the baby swallowed a ten paise coin.”
A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries – “DOC, DOC… I can’t feel my legs, I can’t feel my legs!!!
“Well of course you can’t silly!”, replies the Doc… “I’ve cut off both of your arms.”
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