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Popular Jokes-4

Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said ‘Switched Off’!
Banta : Nahi Pape, it’s my HELLO TUNE!
Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.
Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo.
Malika gave him 1000 Rs.
Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?
Malika: Pehli bar kisine behan kaha!
The lecturer is taking the class seriously.
One of the student looking towards the window side in the class room. The lecturer asks the student. For what purpose are you coming school?
Student: For vidhya sir!
Lecturer: Then why you are looking towards window?
Student: Vidhya’s(Girl friend) not reached the school yet now.
Laloo was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure what to be filled in column
“Salary Expected”.
After much thought he wrote: YES Expected!

Santa enters a store that sells curtains.
He tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.”
He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Santa replies, “Fifteen inches.”
“Fifteen inches?” asked the salesman. “That sounds very small, what room are they for?”
Santa tells him that they aren’t for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, “But, sir, computers do not have curtains!”
Santa says, “Hellllooooooooo……..I’ve got Windows!”
A shy man was feeling a little lucky and decided to ask the subdued provocative Librarian about seduction as he tended to be oblique in his intentions.
“Do you have any books on women seducing men?''
The Librarian answered without hesitation '' Why yes" she murmured.
Most likely found in the '' Fantasy section"
A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me… They must be gods!
A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me…
I must be a god!
Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, An Amazing Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.
Buyer to seller: Is it a faithful dog?
Marathi Seller: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.
Girl to Boyfriend: Now it is time we should marry.
Boy: That’s ok, but who will marry us.
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