Just Joking

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

A man was on a beach when he discovered an old lamp in the sand. He rubbed it and a genie popped out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes. The only condition is that you cannot wish for more wishes." "Alright," said the man, "I wish for more genies."

Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
Bush: Wow! How many?
Manamohan Singh: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher

A couple is sitting on the porch sipping wine. The wife says, "I love you."
The husband says, "Is that you or the wine talking?"
The wife replies, "It's me, talking to the wine."

A guy tells his psychiatrist, “I always have this weird dream at night. I am locked in a room with a door on which there is a sign. I try to push it with all my strength, but no matter how hard I try, it won’t budge." The psychiatrist muses, “Interesting." But tell me what does the sign on the door say? The guy replies, “It says 'Pull'”!!!

Man said to Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful?
Priest: So that you will love them.
Man: But why did God make them so dumb?
Priest: So that they will love you.

Q: On which side does a chicken have the most feathers?
A: The outside.
Q: How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
A: Your nose touches the ceiling.
Q: What’s a flea’s favorite way to travel?
A: Itch-hiking.
Q: Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
A: Because Frost bites.

A girl student comes late to class in a college.
Teacher: Why a re you late?
Girl student: One boy was following me, sir.
Teacher: So, What?
Girl student: That boy was walking very slow.

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped Centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!“
The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”
The driver replied, “Its OK, thats not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.”

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